Toddlers, Tiredness and Tantrums Oh My!

So ironically I think observing my toddler has taught me a lot about life. Tiredness can completely dictate how you behave. Courtesy of my two month old son and my two year old daughter tiredness is a permanent state of being for me.

Toddlers have an almost inability to communicate what they need. They can usually summon the verbal skills to ask for a snack but you pretty much never hear them ask for a nap. Sounds a lot like the adult world to me. We always seem to find a way to want more and more but a lot of the time we have no idea what we actually need and even if we do we rarely muster the verbal skills to actually ask for it.

I've watched my mother her whole adult life work fodr the same small employer without health benefits, a retirement plan or hell even a raise. I had no idea until a few years ago that what I learned by her not asking for what she needed was that I had no idea how to ask for what I need either. Her inability to feel worthy of things and her lack of faith in asking others - that they might actually comply and happily, taught me to feel the same unworthiness.

When I had my daughter two years ago I cried every night of my maternity leave dreading the day when I had to go back to work full time and leave her in daycare. Then slowly I began to hatch my plan. I decided what it was that I needed to be happy. I needed to work part-time and still be able to raise my daughter without feeling like I was missing her life. Work had me stressed out already so I thought a little less pressure would do me good. I decided that I could do without half my salary if I was just going to give it to a daycare anyway. So I asked my mom if she would watch my daughter every day for a half day while I worked and shockingly I even asked my boss to let me work part-time by hiring another part-time person to work the other part of my job.

To this day I don't know how I summoned the courage or why he agreed, but I've been a much happier person ever since. Now as I approach the end of my maternity leave and have to leave my son in my mother's care I know I can face it. I can verbalize it...I'm happy. I can help provide financially for my family and keep my job skills current and I can still feel like I'm raising my kids with the help of someone I truly trust. Who knew that just by asking for what you want...you just might get it.